It was about this time last week that I found out a dear friend of mine lost her beautiful baby girl. She was 15 months old and died very suddenly. Her mother and I were due just a day apart and spent a lot of our pregnancy together. I have spent the week trying very hard to not let this bother me, but I am afraid today I have reached my max.
I know far to many people who have either lost babies or haven't been able to have their own babies and I just don't understand. Why does it seem that the good people are the ones who have their hopes and dreams ripped to shreds and the "bad" people seem to have everything they ever wanted.
I have a aunt who has been fighting cancer for longer then she has been married. She is the sweetest and kindest person I know. But yet she is in pain every day of her life, and is slowly dying when some of her children are still in high school. I have 5 cousins that are mourning the death of the father who passes away very suddenly a few weeks ago. The youngest is also still in high school. While their mother is also fighting cancer.
And though I try so hard to not think about or focus on the sad and bad things that happen in all of our lives. And do my best to remember that this life is a time of testing and learning. I just don't understand.
My heart goes out to all of those that are suffering. I wish so much that there was something I could do to take away the pain and sorrow of this world. And as I write this I am reminded that there is one who has suffered for us, who has taken our pains upon him, and who knows exactly how we feel.
I guess that is my goal this month, to rely on Jesus more. And to allow the Atonement to more fully be a part of my life.
On a lighter note. This weekend Jeff, Devon, and I went to spend some time with my best friend from college. We had a great time just hanging out, walking the Strip, and making yummy food. I do believe the time has come for Devon to move out of the crib however. This is the second trip that he has not slept well in the pack n pay. So tomorrow I will be shopping for twin beds and getting a little rail thing so he doesn't fall out of his bed at night.
I love you all.
3 comments:
I am sorry to hear of the suffering of your friends and family. It is hard in the life and I too just sometimes don't understand. Like you, I try to focus on the good, but that doesn't make it any easier. Keep the faith and it will all be revealed in due time. Thinking of you!!!
I think the good ones get tested more because they are that good. Heavenly Father knows how strong they are and what they can handle and has given them this trial to prove to themselves how strong they themselves are as well as be examples for others. It is a time for testing and isn't meant to be easy but sometimes that doesn't help the hurt. When my mom died I really did find comfort through the atonement, it is real and we see in the hard times why we need a Savior as well as how powerful His love is. Stay positive but that is wonderful that you have such compassion for others:)
thanks for coming to hang with me... :) my mom was very impressed with little Devon and thinks you are doing a very good job with him! We couldn't even hear him at all Sat evening!
You know I have pondered on some of the same topics recently in my head when finding out that one of my dear friends is having trouble having children also. I wonder why it is Heavenly Father gives us certain trials. I realized it must be in his timing and wisdom. How else can we become like him?
If I can do anything - please - let me know. :)
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